Friday, October 28, 2005

goddammit

yup, we're dumb.

check it: in 2003 U.S. students placed 24th in an international test that measured the mathematical literacy of 15-year-olds, below many European and Asian countries.

now if only we can figure out a way to further undermine our education system... hmm, let's see... what could we do? ooh, i know, evolution is just a theory! god created man 10,000 years ago, as well as the earth, the finite universe, and cherry fucking coke! and darwin was way off. we don't even remotely look like monkeys.
[/rant]

Friday, October 21, 2005

On Being Called Racist by a Crackhead

Walked up to Colfax today as an alternate bus route to get to work. Figured on some excitement, and Colfax aims to please. Buses and crackheads and hos, oh my...

Dude walks across the street and catches my eye. He sees this and b-lines to me, and holds his hand out (real friendly-like) to shake my hand. I just look him in his bloodshot eyes, look at his hand, and shake my head to say "no."

"What, you won't shake the hand of a black man?!?!"

Oh really? The subtext was clearly, "you cracker-ass cracker," and he was clearly projecting his racism on me. Now, while I expected excitement, I must admit that this caught me off-guard.

"No, uh, sorry," I stammer back. He continues to berate me, like shaking the hands of random people on Colfax is the norm, and therefore I'm the crazy one, and I'm just like, "ooookay." I'm a bit afraid, but I know it's unlikely he's going to do anything on this busy-ass street in the middle of the day (had it been the middle of the night, that would've been a different story and I'd need to buy a new pair of boxers, perhaps a new spleen). He walks off with an air of dejectedness and as my heartrate returns to normal I realize the logical flaw in his argument that I'm a racist cracker-ass cracker:

I just make it a point not to touch anything on Colfax--black, white, or green, color's unimportant when it comes to this rule.

He coulda been white and I'd've refused his hand (in fact, I've done just that on occasion). I don't owe anybody a handshake, especially someone I don't know when I'm just minding my own business.

Asshole was just trying to bring a little sunshine into my gloomy day, I suppose. I'll have to thank him next time I see him...

As for the bus ride, mostly uneventful, save the worst b.o. I've smelled since... well, since the last time I took the 15.

the trial of the m--f--ing century

Screw the Michael Jackson trial; all these little snippets I hear about Saddam's trial are making that circus seem like a side-show. Sort of an appetizer for the main course.

It's making me re-think my anti-war position. If all wars end with the deposed leaders carrying on like they're not in a world of shit, I'm all for armchair quarterbacking many, many more illegal wars.

Saddam, with his amazing gall, is keeping me grinning ear to ear. It may not be intentional, but he's one funny mo-fo. He should do the talk show circuit before his ass gets executed. I'm thinking he'd do well on Leno.

And there are so many other world leaders we can go after next. I'm talking bigger and badder! Take, for instance, the "illegal regime" of Vladdy-boy Putin. I'm sure he isn't blameless in the whole Chechnya affair! Then he can be all, "but I'm rightfully president," and "blah blah blah," and so on, and someone, say the French, will send assassins in to take out his defense attorney, and we can get all gitmo on his sorry ass. It'll be awesome.

Speaking of the French, when are we gonna take that Chirac sumvabitch down a notch. His ass is begging for it. And whoever's in charge of Canada--yeah, screw that guy! Let's see your universal healthcare save you now!!!

Speaking of Canada, they seem to have their sights on our guy. Even though it's basically symbolic, it's still pretty funny!

But you know what really does it for me in the trial at hand? Saddam is actually out-swaggering our own idiot-in-chief! Don't that beat all... Were it not for all the torturing and raping and stuff, he woulda made a killer stand-up! Such a shame, all that wasted potential.

happier days

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Voltaire on the rocks w/ a twist & some lyrics

I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it.
--Voltaire
...unless you're being a douchebag.
--Nostradumass

boom

Pet by A Perfect Circle

Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window
Go back to sleep

Lay your head down child
I won't let the boogeyman come
Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble
Head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Pay no mind what other voices say
They don't care about you, like I do, like I do
Safe from pain, and truth and choice and other poison devils,
See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do.

Just stay with me, safe and ignorant,
Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Lay your head down child
I won't let the boogeyman come
Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble
Head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums

I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and all your demons
I'll be the one to protect you from
A will to survive and a voice of reason
I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and your choices son
They're one and the same
I must isolate you
Isolate and save you from yourself

Swayin' to the rhythm of the new world order and
Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums
The boogeymen are coming
The boogeymen are coming
Keep your head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Stay with me
Safe and ignorant
Just stay with me
Hold you and protect you from the other ones
The evil ones
Don't love you son,
Go back to sleep